Monday, November 5, 2007

Gunpowder, treason + plot (task 7)

Guy Fawkes Day - the 5th of November and the perfect day for paranoia.

Take this weekend.
I live in a 1930s batchelorette flat. The kitchen is the size of a peanut. My mum and I were in there testing each other’s personal space and trying out a new recipe for the Sunday roast: chicken with Ethiopian herbs and spices. All of a sudden – a tremendous bang and WHAT WAS THAT????

We must have been cooking up a storm because the stove lighter had exploded and ricocheted across the room. Apart from any potential gas fire nastiness – where was the recipe?!!! Down from the ceiling floated the shredded remains but – and here comes the sinister part – guess what was missing? Yes, the part of the recipe that listed those 10 secret Ethiopian herbs and spices. Blown to smithereens. We would never cook this recipe again.

So while a little mystery in the kitchen adds a certain zing to your meal, online it can make even the sturdiest soul think there’s treacherous work afoot.
There are the sinister forces that slow down access to sites, prevent me from downloading applications and build a firewall fortress so high I can’t even see out. I begin to suspect a plot.

And to get anything done I need to tell a billion people who I am and where I live and what I do for a living. Gmail, work email, hotmail, yahoo, bloglines, blogger, flickr and facebook - I need logins for them all But how many logins do I need? Or more to the point – how many can I remember?

Sick of signing in, signing up, forgetting my lines. People, this is not seamless!

Funnily enough giving out personal details online are not the sort of things that make me paranoid (I’m more of a people whispering-in-the-bushes type). But if you look at my blog profile you’ll see I’m pretending to be an accountant from Afghanistan.

Havey cavey business indeed.

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